ASMR flying euphoria vid | Onnaloves

Onnaloves is the Bionic Ballerina. This is her ongoing story, under and above water. This episode features: ASMR does not happen for everyone, nor does it happen with the same triggers. For me, many of my videos created in the same vane do give me a general sense of euphoria - while I edit. I cut pieces together that feel right for me. These videos are a visual record of the joy of that day. As an Alexithymic (Alexi for short) I do not feel joy directly. I get sensations, often similar to ASMR, or different, but I do not have an understanding of my bodily sensations. For this reason for many years now I have tried to capture the essence of my feelings in that moment, with edits that gave me a certain sense of pleasure or tingle as I recounted the memory. I know now to be joy. Alexithymia is a strange disorder or trait. At first I thought maybe it was a sort of superpower, not being able to feel, and channel my mental space into productive work. But since imploding and burning out with chronic fatigue, brain fog, seizures, heart attacks, and neuropathic pain. I have discovered that a lack of emotional understanding is a tragic weakness left open for abuse. I do not mean to bleed all over others that did not cut me, which is why I had to remove myself from a toxic environment and live in peace and harmony for some time allowing my brain to heal. Emotional pain, left unchecked because I do not understand it, literally tore my mind apart. Now, to heal, I must learn joy. So I return to my video postings here on YouTube, to share my journey of biohacking my brain back into cognition. A process we all take for granted, and for me, took away my speech 11 months ago.


For more information view Video on YouTube.